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  • Writer's pictureAndy Ross

Person Realizing They Picked The Wrong Wedding Karaoke Song

When Jennifer told me her wedding reception would feature karaoke, and that it was somewhat mandatory that everyone does a song I had the benefit of months to figure out what I should, and could, sing. Karaoke at the wedding reception should be fun, but it puts pressure on everyone. I can sing, sorta. Would it be cliché to sing a love song? Would it be expected to sing a love song?

I decided I would just go with something fun and goofy and sing “Ana Ng” by They Might Be Giants. It would be unexpected and I figured the couple would like it. I wouldn’t go first, that’s too much pressure and I’ll be nervous about singing in public. I must let others at the reception go first. Maybe I should have a drink too?

The food so far has been great, there’s been some dancing. I was halfway through my second slice of wedding cake when the DJ said “Alright everyone! Jennifer tells me it’s almost time for karaoke, so come on down here and sign up with the song you want to sing.” Some eager people rushed up to write down songs, about six of them. I thought that would be a good buffer, I’d go up and write my song down after I finished the cake and a few of them had gone.

The first two people got up and sang love songs, “Everlasting Love” and “Time After Time.” Right around then is when Jennifer came by me and said “I hope you’re going to sing a song!” I smiled and said I was, she was whisked away by the photographer for photos. I went up to the signup sheet and looked. It was all love songs and now I was feeling even more insecure than usual.

I don’t think “Ana Ng” would work in this context, so instead, I began to figure out what love song to go with. The only thing I could think of was “Nothing Compares 2 U” so I wrote that down. That has a beautiful chorus, I think the bride and groom would appreciate that. I went to have a small drink to steady my nerves and listen to the other singers before it was my turn.

My name was announced. Light applause broke out. I looked over at Jennifer seated at the head table and she rocked a double thumbs up with a very enthusiastic head nod. I wasn’t nervous, I was excited. I was ready. I knew this would be a beautiful moment to celebrate the great love between Jennifer and Brian. I hoped this would be a moment they would remember for a long time.

I was hazy on the words but they had a screen there, thankfully, otherwise, I doubt I would have gone with a song I wasn’t too familiar with. The music began, I looked at the screen and I sang “It’s been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love from me.” Oh, no. Wait. Is this a breakup song!? I thought it was a love ballad!

“I go out every night and sleep all day since you took your love from me.” Crap! This is a breakup song! “Since you’ve been gone, I can do whatever I want, I can see whomever I choose.” Dammit! What have I done? I can’t just stop. I’m committed to this song, everyone is looking at me. Close your eyes and give it all you got.

“It’s been so lonely without you here.” Brian is going to kill me, he’s going to think Jennifer and I had a fling and that this is my last-ditch chance to get her back. What have I done? Can’t stop, I gotta power through this chorus. “ ‘Cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you.” Do I dare open my eyes? Do I dare see the anger, the resentment, the disappointment in the eyes of everyone? Are they reading the torches and pitchforks?

I open my eyes slowly while keeping up with the song. Nothing is going on, people are eating and too drunk to understand what’s going on. I’m thankful this is a moment when people only pay attention to the chorus of a song. The groom isn’t even listening, he’s off taking selfies with his bro buddies. I end the song, light applause happens again. I rush to find a darkened corner of the venue to hide and reconstitute myself.

Thoughts and self-gathered, I re-emerged into the crowd and was quickly spotted by Jennifer. Getting a huge hug from the bride who told me what I sang was “beautiful” made me feel more at ease. There was no dreadful outcry from my snap decision. I was grateful and knew that if I should find myself in need of doing karaoke at a wedding again I would stick with Frank Sinatra. See you next week.


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